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I sat on the back porch for a while tonight. Today was beautiful and tonight was even more perfect. I left the gym early and had an opportunity that I rarely get. My son was still awake when I got home, and I got to hold him until he fell asleep. While he was laying on me—snoring in my ear—I got the chance to reflect a little on the past few months and how far this whole thing has come. Today Dusty posted this to comments:

This place reminds me of the Skate shop I used to work for, except with exercisers and barbells instead of shit-head teenagers and wheels/decks. It was a legit shop, not some mall-store staffed by fucksticks. A no bullshit kinda place with a mini-ramp in the back and no tolerance for whining or bitching. Outlaw is like the Skatopia of exercising, with more teeth and less Anarchy. In other words I hope you keep this up, thanks Rudy!

We like to talk a lot of shit and have a lot of fun here, but when it really comes down to it, we take the sport of human performance very seriously. Dusty’s comment got me thinking, I know it’s hard to believe, about the sport and why our little project has grown the way it has.

I have the same “first WOD” story that everyone else does. I did Fran and it fucked me up. Like beyond the normal “Ouch, that really hurt” level fucking up, all the way to “Hey, why am I still shaking, that was 4 days ago” level fucking up. We all had the moment: bloody hands, spinning room, hold your head over the trash can and wait for whatever gluten-laden food you had a few hours before to make a return appearance. Then, a day or two later, you turn into a ripped-hand televangelist trying to convert everyone you know into an exercise sadist so you’ll have someone around just in case a 911 call needs to be made. These are the inherent actions of a lunatic, and this is the reason we are all here.

The weird thing is, a whole bunch of people decided they were just as crazy as us. For me, as an affiliate owner, this is a good thing. I like money. I like comfort. Fuck, I’d like to get a gold medallion of my own face, just like Rick Ross, and wear it to Training Camps just to freak people out. I’m new money.

The problem is, I’m also an underground hip-hop, indie rock, Hard XXX Core snob who only wants those who think just like me to like the things I like, so I sorta hate worldwide success.

I poo-poo Reebok and the partnership with them, even though it’s pumping a metric shit-ton of money into the sport and they do make pretty good shoes. I don’t want every resolutionary who sees the Games on ESPN to walk into my gym thinking they will look like Rich Froning, despite the fact that they’ve never lifted more than a sweater vest overhead and they eat fucking pasta every night of their lives (I HATE PASTA). However, the more people who actually walk in the door and are committed, the more freedom we have to actually run a successful business. Simply put, it’s like the first time you heard your favorite band on the radio—it sucks for you because they’re no longer your little secret, but at least you know the world gets to find out about something that is truly amazing.

I guess that’s where The Outlaw Way comes in…

This is the place where douche-baggery is officially not allowed. We don’t answer to any corporate sponsors and never will (except Nike, if they call I am absolutely selling out—I want that fucking medallion). We call a gym a gym, won’t look down on you if you’d like to have a slice of “God’s Fuel,” aka Pizza, and will always agree with this amazing statement by Adrian Bozeman, “It’s not religion, it’s just a workout.” That doesn’t mean that we, in any way, don’t take the sport seriously. Our worldwide assault on the leaderboard is mind-boggling, and I am frankly shocked by all of the Outlaws who are coming out of the woodwork. But no matter how successful we are, we will always make fun of the “fucksticks” who sell skateboards at the mall.

I am so proud of our cabal and I hope you’re all having as much fun as I am right now. Many of you haven’t had a season for many years, and some never have. This is the single greatest motivation to exercise in the history of exercise. There is no amount of fucking “beach abs” that will make you bleed, try to make yourself pass out, or repeat a 7-minute AMRAP of Burpees four-fucking-times. Coach summed it up pretty well when he said, “Men will die for points.” Besides, you could always be on a treadmill, eating Slim Fast Bars and trying to lose those 40 pounds you gained after college. You know, like all those people who’ll be competing in the Open next year.

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WOD 120313:

BB Gymnastics

1a) 7X2 Hang Snatch High-Pulls + 1 Hang Snatch (full squat) – heaviest possible, rest 60 sec.

Notes: The video shows the movement performed twice. All 7 sets should be performed as singles, not doubles. One set is 2 Hang Snatch High-Pulls followed by 1 Hang Snatch.

1b) 7X3 Snatch Grip Behind the Neck Push Press – heaviest possible, rest 60 sec.

Conditioning (pain threshold training)

5 rounds for total time of:

Row 250m
25 Perfectly Vertical KBS 32/24kg

*Rest 2 minutes between rounds.

Rest 10 total minutes, then:

4X200m Sled Drags – heaviest possible, rest 1:1

Notes: Drags should be performed Westside style. Heels down and pulling with the hamstrings. Do not run with the sled. Simply power walk heel to toe every step. Do not use so much weight that you must push off of the balls of your feet. HEEL TO TOE.