>You’ve got to love the pride that competitive exercisers have. A sub-three-minute Fran, qualifying for Regionals, Snatching 250#, double-digit unbroken Muscle-Ups; the list of things which make you a super-elite WODKILLA could go on forever. Who wouldn’t feel pride? You are the “fittest on earth”. You train so hard you puke. You compete in Weightlifting competitions a week after beating a bunch of skinny dorks in a 5k. You should take pride—you’ve put in the blood, sweat, and ripped hands to be recognized as the worlds fittest humans.
Then Klokov comes along and poops on your face.
Yep, you just watched that. Before you call “NO REP” or make some other comment about his lockout, let me ask you to please STFU. He’s not at the f**king Garage Games, he can do them however he wants. Also, almost to rub it in, notice the pause on the last few reps, and how he increases ROM as he fatigues—in case you didn’t know, Klokov weighs 230#. Why didn’t he just do them clapping, or maybe flip us the bird while levitating after each rep? This guy is officially starting to piss me off.
Someone has got to stop this guy from making people think that Weightlifters are superior to elite competitive exercisers. He’s making a mockery of our sport. This gives me an idea, somebody translate this…
Dear Mr. Klokov,
I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to compete at the 2013 Outlaw Open (no, we don’t have dates yet or a location, but it’s gonna happen…especially if you say yes). We have seen your videos, and believe you should have the opportunity to “prove your fitness” against some of the best competitive exercisers on earth. We assure you we will not make you run for two hours through the woods, or swim in the ocean (unless you like that stuff – we’re open to suggestions). We will do workouts that include heavy barbells, and other cool stuff (heck, maybe we’ll even do a diving “workout”). This will allow you to demonstrate your
ungodly strength and mobility overall capacity, and ability to smash all these weak ass exercisers adapt to the “unknown and unknowable”. We look forward to your attendance.
P.S. I live in the Washington DC area, and am a lifelong Redskins fan (American football – it’s like when you were on Dancing With the Stars, but with blood and jock straps), and can get you a tryout for the team while you’re here. Do you know your 40 time?
1) 3X5 Muscle Snatch – heavy but keep it a true Muscle Snatch, rest 1:30 DEMO VIDEO
2) 7X2 Snatch from worst position – heavy but perfect, rest 60 sec.
*Note: The “worst position” distinction implies that you should practice from whatever place you struggle the most. That could include anything from hi-hang to blocks from below the knee, or anywhere in between. Do not turn this into anything but a time to work on technique from your worst position.
3) 5X2 Cleans from worst position + 1 Jerk – heavy but perfect, rest 60 sec. (Perform one Clean, then the second followed by a Jerk.)
1a) 4X5 Supinated Strict Weighted Pullups – heaviest possible, rest 60 sec.
1b) 4X5 Strict Weighted Tempo GH Raise – fast on the way up then 5 sec. count back down, rest 60 sec. (no swing, start from a position parallel to the floor) DEMO VIDEO
1c) 4X8 Narrow Grip Bench Press (hands 8-12″ apart) – heaviest possible, rest 60 sec.
1d) 4X15 Reverse Hyper – medium to heavy, rest 60 sec.