Tomorrow night I will have a tentative schedule of the Australian dates posted, as well as, any other dates we plan to release. I know, I know, you’re all sooooooo psyched to hear about more World Tour dates. Maybe we’ll go to Istanbul, maybe we’ll go to Kentucky—you never know.
It’s late and I’ve just finished using my hard earned strength and conditioning for one of the most challenging tasks a man can perform: putting together Ikea furniture. I don’t feel like writing anything coherent, and evidently Jay Rhodes and Kevin Simons are on vacation, because I have absolutely zero cool videos to post. This means that tonight you get a new series (which will probably only run once), called:
“5 Completely Random Ass Topics That Rudy Felt Like Saying Some Completely Pointless Shit About Because He’s Too Lazy to Write the Post During the Day.”
1) Today David Bock and I bet on our lifts. It was sort of like a skins game in golf, except we weren’t playing a pussy sport. Basically, we gambled on working out. I’ve got to give David complete credit on this one—it was fucking brilliant. There’s never been so much intensity and shit talk in one session, in all the years I’ve owned the gym. Betting on exercising… Way better than watching it.
2) Batman was good, really good. I actually teared when Alfred started crying and apologizing to Bruce Wayne’s parents. Fuck you if you’re a man and you didn’t get choked up during that part.
3) People cannot Snatch Balance. I mean no-fucking-body, not a single one. This fact makes me never want to program the movement again. I frankly cannot stand to see an entire group of humans looking like their upper torso is going to rip directly off the spinal column. If I did that, however, I’d be doing you a disservice. So I have an idea: GET BETTER AT THE EFFING MOVEMENT.
4) I just fell asleep while posting. You guys are boring me.
5) Don’t call me, don’t ever call me, EVER. If you call me I will let the phone ring and text you back. If I don’t know who you are, I’ll let it ring and never listen to your message. Why are you leaving a message? “Hey Rudy…….uh………….this is……….wanted some information on………………….”. Here’s the only information I’m available to give: next time you think about calling me go ahead and light yourself on fire. Hopefully this will burn your phone as well, but if not, at least it’ll make for a cool message.