I love the smell of vitriol in the morning…
Discussion topic #1:
Dis mufucka got 4th and I got “honorable mention”!?
Today I was sent a link to “7 CrossFit Blogs You Should Be Reading” by Ben O’Grady. I was incredibly excited to see Beastmodal Domains on the list, but then as I looked further—well off the list—in the fucking honorable mention area; below Sage Burgener (who hasn’t posted SINCE SEPTEMBER), below our own Elisabeth “Ekinwale”, below some blog about how to be elite at using sarcasm, I noticed that our little “data collection project” had made the cellar of the JV list.
Look, I’m a team player. I’m proud that Epic got props, but you’re telling me that a site where this appeared…
Is better than a site that literally has double-digit Games competitors following its programming? I mean sure, there’s some pretty life changing stuff on BMD, like – “That sounds like a mouth-queef to me and it means you’re ready for a sturdy cockpunch” – or – “There is some wack-ass shit going on and I’m fittin’ to call it out.” Both of those statements, and hundreds others like them, are certainly as researched and well thought out as the Limited Conjugate or any of the other scientific “mumbo-jumbo” appearing on this site.
You know what? I understand what it takes now. Make some water color level penis shaped charts… Flaccid dongs to erections, GENIUS. Most importantly, all the writing I do from now on will include terms like; “cockpunch”, “fuckstomp” and other made up words like “dickblow” and “assstab”.
Did I move up the list yet?
Discussion topic #2:
First things first, kids—I love you all. I don’t know you all, but the fact that you’re here and following makes me think you are intrinsically the best humans on earth.
That being said…
There were some questions about the Elisabeth Akinwale’s 3 Position Snatch video that I posted last night. I want to try to take this opportunity to educate and not start a screaming match. We can also use it as yet another chance to get across the point of each of the movements we do.
Look, I know that Elisabeth’s high-hang wasn’t exactly “from the pockets”, but guess what? I had actually instructed her—over email—to do EXACTLY what she did in that video and I thought her lift was perfect.
You can see in the pics above that her high-hang is a solid 3-5″ above her hang. No, it’s not absolutely perfect, but 15 minutes before this Elisabeth had never been in a real hang position. In fact, in the first video she sent me, she was basically dragging the barbell down her legs and letting it rest on her thighs. If the hang is performed without initiating from the hip (starting by pushing the hips back first to create tension in the hamstrings), then usually the lifter will try to do some sort of a weird quad trampoline bounce that basically monkey-fucks everything.
Also, Elisabeth has VERY long arms and a VERY short torso. This may make her look lower than a normal person in the high-hang, but the reality is that if she dropped straight down then the bar would come in contact with her legs, thus disengaging the tension in her primary pullers and turning the movement into very heavily weighted ankle extension test that involved no whip generated from the back side.
And, most importantly, Elisabeth’s positioning on the lift was an almost flawless copy of this: DEMO VIDEO which I sent her.
I know, this is some pretty advanced stuff, and I’m sorry if I confused some of you guys. I sometimes have a different lexicon that doesn’t translate well without demo video and words. I’ll try to make sure everyone is on the same page for everything from now on.